Mourning, and Life Continues On
(Sorrow may not disappear, but it will get buried)(The day of)
I skipped school, but this morning I put on my uniform
The faces of my formally-dressed parents were so blurry
The vast, clear sky and pleasant wind felt almost offensive
I heard a voice from the front, opened the door, and walked out
People I haven't met in years, people I meet for the first time
My heart is all mixed up; I hope I did a good job with my light bows
In the Japanese-style room, I sit in a chair; it's cold even through the fabric
We are called up by the person in charge, and open the fusuma[1]
Your expression was so soft, it was as if you were asleep
I felt as if you would simply wake up
And smile at me at any moment
The skin that I wiped with the washcloth was hard and cold
My fantasy breaks right in front of my eyes, and I stroke your empty body
(The next day)
The following morning, I vacantly put on my uniform
My heart wavered and swayed the entire way to the parlor
Inside the coffin, you get buried in flowers
As I closed my eyes, reality dripped down my cheek
The door gets closed; the locks get secured
It gets carried away; I am just gazing at it all
Summer hasn't come yet, but I heard the chirping of a cicada
I felt as if it filled a hole in my heart
Our farewell draws near; the coffin gets sucked in
Was what flowed down my face my sweat or tears, I can't even tell
They bought me juice from the vending machine at the waiting room
Every time I sipped that tasteless thing, time kept passing
Condensation dropped to ground and burst, sending a shiver from head to toe
The person in charge is calling us
Your skin had perished, body reduced to pieces
Passed on with chopsticks, you get put away in a vase
You've become oh so small
The sweat that dripped down was cold
I walk, carrying a lighter you
I've fallen into a sensation where reality and dreams feel blurred
My slightly burned hand started to tingle and hurt
It feels like even reality got a wet blanket thrown over it
The sunset viewed from inside the car looked so much more vibrant compared to my heart
Exasperatingly so
(Afterwards)
The following morning, I sleepily put on my uniform
Under my eyes are so swollen; I need to hide it with concealer
The vast, clear sky extended past the window as far as I could see
I carry my bag, saying "I'm off," as I open the door